Tuesday, April 8, 2008

1994 Upper Deck #140 - Jose Canseco

I'm not sure I ever want to find out what Jose Canseco was doing with a shovel. I know that I don't want to find out why Upper Deck felt compelled to put this image on a baseball card.

Was this the method in which Jose introduced steroids into the clubhouse?

"Raffy, let me shovel you a fresh batch of juice."

It may have been an intimidation tactic on Jose's part. Would you deny a man who was about to bean you upside the head with a dirty oversize shovel?

"Would you like an injection in the butt or a shovel across your skull?"

You'd be surprised how many said "shovel across the skull." If you said "injection in the butt", then maybe you have a career filled with tape measure home runs in your future. A not so distant future filled with cheers and highlight reels. There's no need to worry about the distant future. The good times will never end, guaranteed.

Well, everything that's "fun" must come to an end sometime. The excess of the nineties, led to the prudish behavior of the 21st century. Steroids may begin and end with Jose Canseco, but the other players didn't have to follow his advice.

OK, I've changed my mind. I want to know what the hell Jose is doing with that shovel!

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