Surfin' San Diego

There's nothing worse than a gremmie out of control.

I've never visited San Diego. It's on my list of places to visit. There's the world famous zoo. The Wild Animal Park. Sea World. Old Town. Lots of museums. Lots of beaches. The Padres.

I'd love to take in a Padres game in San Diego. One thing has me worried though. Although I've never heard about it, apparently there is a rollicking surf inside the ballpark. Cowabunga dude! Let's hang ten or whatever they call it now. Yeah, I've never been surfing either. It's hard to do in Lake Michigan.

I can admire an athlete who can surf. Especially one who can surf at his job. His job on dry land. I've never been able to stay on a skateboard for more than five seconds, let alone a surfboard. Roller skating is a complete joke on me, but for some reason I think I would do well with roller blades, but I've never tested that theory.

You'll never see me in ice skates. Ice and I have a touchy relationship ever since I fell through the ice in grade school. It was not fun riding my bike over two miles home, in the dead of winter, drenched from head to toe. It's an experience that I'd not like to repeat. Ever.

This is the kind of card experience that I will miss. With Fleer gone from the landscape, I will never again see surfboards or snakes on baseball cards of actual major leaguers. Not that Fleer had those things in their sets in the past few years. It was nice to know that those types of photos could show up, if someone really wanted them to.

I've gotten a little nostalgic for Fleer. I don't like things taken away that shouldn't be taken away. Fleer was the ugly stepsister, whose heart was in the right place. It tried and tried, but it just couldn't look pretty on a regular basis. The few times that Fleer got gussied up enough to take the collectors' notice, it just didn't suit Fleer. Fleer was comfortable being ugly.

I know, that sounds like a bad sitcom or a cheaply made modern teen movie. You know it's true though. Fleer could be like the French exchange student, who fakes not speaking English in order to not get noticed. There's inner beauty just underneath the surface, just waiting for John Cusack's black Camaro to come along to show her the ways of street racing in broad daylight and skiing on one ski.

Truth be told. Fleer is probably most like Long Duk Dong. It's not much to look at. It has a bunch of cheesy lines. It also likes to party and comes out a winner despite itself. It also scares easily when the Topps and Upper Deck come looking for Fleer. Now because of Upper Deck's recent decision, there will be no more Yankee of Fleer's wankie. Fleer is now lying on the parkway, passed out. Sadly, it may never get up again.